Middle-class parenting neglects life skills that are essential for students | Parents and parenting

Zoe Williams’ university-bound son won’t be the only one among his peers not to know how, or indeed why, bed sheets are laundered (I went to Ikea with my son – and was confronted with my parenting failures, 8 September).

Modern day, middle-class parenting tends to direct kids away from domestic pursuits, focusing instead on academic achievements and sporting prowess or music grades, scouting activities and Duke of Edinburgh awards. With their waking hours consumed by so many outside interests, there’s little time for learning life skills such as cooking, cleaning and laundering.

I visit schools giving talks to sixth-form students about preparing for university. In advance, I invite the students to share any questions or concerns they may have. Alongside issues such as finding their future friends and whether they’ll cope academically, they often question how they’ll live independently. Many of them have never had to do a full supermarket shop, prepare a meal from scratch, wash a kitchen floor or iron a shirt.

They anticipate focusing on their studies and socialising with their flatmates, coursemates and people they meet through clubs and societies. They do worry about how they’ll also take care of themselves and how they’ll juggle everything.

We owe it to our young people to teach them essential life skills along the way – not just in the week before they head off to university – so they have one less thing to worry about. After all, conjuring up a decent chilli, cleaning a loo properly and washing a sheet without it shrinking, fading or changing shape, are lifelong useful skills.
Melissa Scallan
Author, Starting University

Five minutes after dropping my son off at his Birmingham halls of residence, we received a WhatsApp message: “I cut my hand on a knife when I opened the packaging. There’s quite a lot of blood. Any advice?” As we turned the car round, while rummaging for plasters in the glove box, we got another message. “It’s OK, my new flatmates have bandaged me up.” All six are still close mates, 10 years later.
Pippa Keech
Lyndhurst, Hampshire