Novelist Sebastian Barry: ‘At 71, sex is somewhere between a memory and an ambition’ | Life and style

Born in Dublin, Sebastian Barry, 71, published his first novel in 1982. In 2005 and 2008, A Long Long Way and The Secret Scripture were shortlisted for the Booker prize; three of his other books have been longlisted. Barry has twice won Costa book of the year and he was laureate for Irish fiction. Tomorrow he discusses his latest novel, The Newer World, at Queen’s Park book festival in London. He is married with three children and lives in County Wicklow.

When were you happiest?
Purely and unconsciously, living on Greece’s Paros aged 25. Exhausted and happy, when our babies were small.

What is your greatest fear?
Running out of money or time.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Not listening, but I am training myself.

Describe yourself in three words
Peculiar, intense, awkward.

What makes you unhappy?
Myself.

What do you most dislike about your appearance?
The grotesqueries of old age.

If you could bring something extinct back to life, what would you choose?
Selflessness in politicians.

What is your most unappealing habit?
Snoring. There’s an app now that lets you hear your own devastating din.

What scares you about getting older?
Getting even more old. But that’s a privilege, too.

What did you want to be when you were growing up?
I hoped to take over from Bob Dylan when he retired, but he never did.

What is the worst thing anyone’s said to you?
When I proudly walked into the Poetry Society in 1985 to do a reading and John Montague (whom I revered) said, “What are you doing here?”

What do you owe your parents?
Nearly impossible to answer in fewer than 80,000 words. Maybe a respect for writers and a reverence for actors.

To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
There was a vulnerable boy on one of our school tours and I wasn’t kind. I don’t just want to say sorry; I’d like to go back in time and be a decent friend.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?
I am happy to say my wife, Ali, who is a very complete person, unlike myself.

What does love feel like?
A responsibility, a test, a chasm, a mountain, a non-harming strike of joy.

Have you ever said ‘I love you’ and not meant it?
Well, only in the sense that, unbeknownst to me, I didn’t.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Radiant and mighty. Both good words.

If you could edit your past, what would you change
Ten thousand small edits, but I accept the general text. Can you edit out depressive episodes? Gross stupidities?

How often do you have sex?
At 71, this is somewhere between a memory and an ambition.

What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
Full mental health.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?
I do make a very authentic moussaka.

What keeps you awake at night?
The usual things – am I a good person? How will I survive the next book tour?

Would you rather have more sex, money or fame?
Can we add humanity to that list? I’d rather have more of that.

How would you like to be remembered?
I dread to think. Foolish but fond?